Bridges
Let go…..Cleopatra.. said my dance teacher in response to my failure to connect a phrase. Say what?! said I, stalling for time. It's a Donkey Bridge, he clarified, let go of the arms, then Cleopatra to make a shape. A memory device, a connector, so called because donkeys are supposedly too stupid to make it across the river any other way. In Zen it is said: Every Ass can Pass. Every one of us can get to the other side but we need the right bridge.
Words can be a bridge to dance. Dance can be a bridge to freedom. Yoga to meditation or meditation to yoga. The specter of death is a nifty bridge to a satisfying life.
Whoops, so easy to slip into the Big One. I meant to keep it small, methodical, mechanical. Because it's all in the details. The details hold your focus, keep your feet moving.
Have you ever tried to relax after a stressful day and your mind can't stop racing? You say to yourself, I can't relax! so you act out--check email again! yell at the dog, the kid, the partner! buy another outfit!, or zonk out--tv, drinks, you name it. Well, let go, Cleopatra! You need a donkey bridge to get over the gap between active adrenalin rush and receptive deep calm. Maybe an energetic workout is the bridge; maybe it is seven breaths in a forward bend; or maybe it is sitting down with a cup of tea and a ball of yarn to crochet. But you have to be able to see the bridge when you get to the river: I know when I get home, I'm going to put my bag down, hang my coat and walk to my mat. I will take off my shoes, pee if I need to, then stand on the mat. I will feel my feet; I will slowly roll down, sensing the subtle sensations in my feet as my weight changes, and then I will breathe in. And then I will breathe out. Repeat 6 times and if I still want to check my email/eat a cookie/watch tv/wack the dog after that, ok. Well, no, just not the dog part, but you get the idea.
Since that class, I'm obsessed with bridges. I see nothing but bridges. Obsession is a bridge to true understanding. So, here are some more:
Diagnosis is a bridge to effective action.
Praise / criticism is a bridge to non-judgement.
Medication (or breathing) can be a bridge to self-regulation, which can be a bridge to self-acceptance, which can be a bridge to letting go of The Self.
And I am struck by how often restriction is the bridge to freedom. The dance combination itself becomes the method by which the body expresses itself entirely. But without the guidance, it will sit there like a lump on the couch assessing life miserably while checking compulsively on Facebook. whoops again. TMI.
So, the point is that the bridge, while essential, is not the thing itself. If I cling to the bridge, I won't get to the other side. I have to walk on it, one step at a time, and then when I've made it, let go, Cleopatra. Soft. Take a breath. Take in the new setting. And look for the next bridge.
Elena Taurke
Comments on Bridges from OGReHome.com
If TV Zombie land was even so simple. Sitting on the couch with the remote control....we didn't use to have these things!!! (or at least, when I was little, in my family, I was the remote control!!)
So, I am on a business trip, sitting in the hotel room, and I have the remote control in my hand. 300 channels, and I surf one by one, nothing is satisfying, and I feel emptier and emptier. Or, the brain further fracture apart as if I didn't do enough fracturing during the day!!!
On I sit by the computer, surfing the web. There are no waves to ride, but when I get to bed, I can feel all the salt water that got in between the ears. I toss and turn together wioth the sand, seaweed, the small shells, the bits of sand...all swishing together with that saltwater..in my head.
I toss and turn. Only two hours of good sleep, if that!!
No jello. No comfort. I don't even get zombie-land.
OGRe Replies:
What turns out to be quite important is this question of whether we are getting stuck on the Bridge. Should we just dive in, as Shuka suggests? Steve is clearly stuck. So, how to help? Avoidance seems to be more attractive to us--often we choose to surf the web or indulge our obsessive thoughts even when some part of us is all too aware of what we are missing. Poor Steve ends up tossing and turning with the seaweed instead of settling down and taking the bridge to sleep. I agree with Shuka that it is important to consciously decide where we want to go, and to that I add the encouragement to use our bodiesto help us know if we are stuck or moving. How are we moving?
I'm intrigued by the idea of bridge...that every step leads to another place, and so is a bridge? But bridge also implies destination, going from one place to another...so as I take that step, I might ask, where is this leading? Or, more broadly, what is my intention? And then letting that go when the bridge turns out to lead to another place.
We sing of a bridge over troubled waters... there are some who say we need to dive into those waters! And what if those waters were to rise over the bridge? Hang on? or float?
Building a bridge between now and the future, my present life and my death. What kind of bridge do I need? I need to build a bridge of safety, security and support - consciously design and build. Yes, that is my work. And seeing all these necessaries (that you, Yuuka, are so aware of and such an importnat part of) as a bridge -- something with substance and purpose, something I can visualize -- makes it easier to do.
Thank you, Yuuka!