Department of Defense

Updated on Friday, June 8, 2012 at 4:52PM by Elena Taurke

Three bikes already stolen, and yesterday, one mangled beyond rideability.   If I knew who the enemy was, I'd sign up for the war!

Moving to the city last winter from our little village of Nyack, the family warmed to the sight of all the bicycles zipping around the city.  So, we brought our bikes over, chained them to a fence near our apartment in Washington Heights.  No dummies, we purchased good city locks and worried a little but not too much.  Well....first, mine was taken by someone who cut the fence to which it was attached.    I was hurt, put a sign up saying "hey, if you really needed a bike, you could have asked me for it."   But I got a new one--it was an old bike anyway.  Chained the new one to a better pole, where it survived one day before disappearing without a trace.  Next, my daughter's mountain bike fell prey to the dark force of greed.  

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Picking up the Other Dog's Poop

I have a dog. My dog poops.  So do the other dogs. People get mad at dogs because their owners leave the poop under their shoes.

I love my dog and want him to be accepted by the community. So, I help him out if I pick up the other dogs' poops, the ones just waiting to slide under your shoe. But I can't bring myself to do it...well, once I did, because I wanted to be able to brag on this site. Is that a worthy reason? 

What will it take for us to take responsibility for each other? Self interest? Wisdom? Empathy? Enough poop on our shoes?   (12/17/08)

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I need a DO OVER! (guest post)

An email from my friend, John:

Hey folks:

Today's lesson: Stick with your own kind.  I know it sounds harsh but sometimes the consequences for not doing so can be quite intense.  Black men should go to Black barbers.

It all began when I got my locks roots re-tighened about 2 weeks ago. It's so tough to find a really good black hair salon without the hair salon drama which seemly only occurs in the black salons. Anyway,

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What Seduces You?

What tempts you to fall out of your mind?  For me, it is belonging.  If someone says you are one of us, I'm toast, especially if it's a  group that disdains all other groups.   I forget my values, my preferences, my feelings, my family ... and become a faulty mirror of the group, a groupee.   But maybe triumph is more seductive for you.  Maybe it's chocolate...or money...or fame...or boobs...or cherries...what are those things, anyway?
What can you learn about yourself from your temptations?
How can you encourage yourself to disobey their instructions?

What else will meet the craving?

What will satisfy the longing?

Can you stay curious long enough to sense the difference between craving and longing?  And can you allow the longing to pull you into connection with the whole universe?

Martyred Mom Cracks Her Shackles!

Martyred Mom Cracks Her Shackles!  arose out of deep frustration over the seeming impossibility of reconciling motherhood and self-fulfillment.  Made in 2005, the video tells the story of a devoted mother’s tortured journey from martyrdom and guilt to freedom and possibility.  It is an amalgam of interview, performance art, and odd experimental technique (because the mother didn't know what she was doing).  The music, by Marty Beller of They Might be Giants, makes it an energizing experience.

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Happy Holidays!!!! Really?

My daughter was surprised when I mentioned that I always get a lot of business this time of year.  "But isn't everyone happy during the Holidays?"  Exactly.   Everyone is supposed to be happy, and woe to those who aren't.  Woe drives them to the shrink.

Among the animals, humans are uniquely gifted with the ability to aspire. 

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Duet With Doubt

When my friend Marta asked me to do a little (no pressure!) dance at a little (really, no biggie) Festival, I panicked.  Riddled with Doubt is what I was.  During the same week my mother sent a poem that she had written On Doubt.    

Duet with Doubt screened at the Sans Souci Festival of Dance, including their Texas State University tour, the Austin Woman's Film Festival, and  the Baltimore Women's Film Festival.

A woman confronts her shadow. Reading her mothers poem, On Doubt, the woman engages with the unsavory presence and discovers how to start working. (2:10 min)

Mahogany

Here's a funny story:

My daughter and husband are shopping for a birthday card for me.  They see a yellow card with sparkly flowers.  The text reads:  Today is a day for celebrating you and the wonderful mother you are…Today is a day to celebrate everything about you.  Your warmth, your wisdom…your beauty and spirit.  Today is a day for telling you how proud and grateful I am to have you for a mother.  Happy Birthday With Love.

The beige woman at the counter says:  "Are you sure you want to buy this card?"  They are puzzled.  What is the problem?   She replied:  "It’s for black people."   She pointed at the card.  "See, Mahogany,  for black people."   I guess black people love their mothers differently.

Are you laughing?

March 2011

How to Meditate

First off, what is it?   I can't tell you how many times I've heard: I can't meditate.  Right away that tells me that there's some ideal people think they are not reaching.  But reaching is exactly what we don't do when we meditate. So, how do you not reach?  How do you not do?  Start with the certainty that you absolutely cannot do it wrong.   

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The Change Steps

For real and lasting change, you'll need DIPS: Determination, Intention, Practice, and Support.um..change steps?

D for Determination: When we've banged our heads against the wall enough, frustration points us to a new direction.  Yes, this really is a step.  Banging our heads is quite productive.   It produces pain that leads us to an alternative (unless we have learned helpnessness, which is another conundrum addressed elsewhere.)   We are determined to quit smoking, for example.

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