Coming home from the zen retreat, having realized the importance of non-conversational camaraderie, I was excited to try a new schedule that included working at a café. On the first day of this exciting new plan I worked efficiently in the morning, knowing my time was limited, then headed down to meditate at the Village Zendo, and then, then, my reward! I went to my favorite café, found an excellent spot, planted myself and my laptop, opened it with a deep sigh of anticipatory pleasure.
Can you guess? It was dead. I had no charger with me.
Waves of disappointment and rage. At what? At whom? No target. I could either abandon my plan or park my stuff and walk 12 minutes back and forth to get the charger. So I walked, furious, thinking about how much time I had wasted. People and traffic lights were obstacles as I imagined how fast I could grab the charger and run back to where I should have been already.
Fortunately the absurdity of all that alighted in my consciousness. Then I entered the fury, and the fury changed. I continued to feel anxious, and then I entered the anxiety, and the anxiety changed. Eventually, I made my way back to the café, and when I discovered that the outlet near my perfect table was dead, I just moved. No perfection, only movement and adaptation.
These are some big things I've learned through my Zen studies.
- Enter here. Include emotion and everything else, without exception.
- Let go of This so you can welcome This. Die with every breath.
- Do it for the doing, not the goal, but don't forget the goal.
But there are also little things like:
- Settle in completely, even if you are only there for three minutes.
- Clean up completely, even if you will get back to it soon.
- Just enough is more satisfying than a bit too much.
- Leave space between things, just enough to be able to roll a little paradox around on your tongue before you swallow.
Now I'm having fun.