I am 53 today and I have 300K in the bank and it is the End of Time. I am 53 and freshly separated from my husband of almost 20 years. Married to each other's traumas on November 6, 1993, we are one year short of the Big Two O. The life I had is over. Actually, this is true for all of us, every day, but especially on this particular day. Today, a new great friend Quique sends me a birthday gift of a phrase (he is a word artist): ELEGANCE IS FREEDOM.
Psychology + Zen = Philosophy and methods to relieve suffering and reveal happiness.
Psychology: We project onto others what we reject in ourselves. Some call it a Shadow. Healing comes from making the unconscious conscious, taking responsibility for our projections, integrating what is split off as our own thing.
Zen: There is no separate self. When we can be at one with every aspect, then we belong everywhere and we reject no one.
We heal the world by becoming intimate with our whole selves.
Entries in Belonging (6)
Inspired by Cho's gestures, energy, and mission, a group of dancers celebrate human diversity in all its splendid manifestations.
Conceived and Choreographed by Irene Ruiz-Riveros
Video Directed and Edited by Elena TaJo
Music by Steve Elson
I am I: A Tribute to Margaret Cho screened in June of 2010 at Anthology Film Archives as part of an excellent series curated by New York Women in Film and Television. Running time 5:37 minutes
Updated on Friday, October 15, 2010 at 11:50AM by Elena TaJo
Updated on Friday, June 8, 2012 at 4:50PM by Elena TaJo
It doesn't show, they started to say after the surgeries. This should have been a cure for shame, and maybe it was, but it also produced a new problem. A deep and integral aspect of my personhood became invisible and unknowable. Juvenile arthritis is a peculiar and defining experience. As a toddler, you get braces and casts instead of the exhilaration of walking. As a kid, you get the special role in the ballet recital. Then, as your wrists are progressively deforming, Phys Ed with its impossible pushups and volleyball falls by the wayside. You are left with the other rejected kids in Choir and then in Drama Club, where, to vanquish your depression, you pledge yourself a career and vengeance. The twist (pardon the pun) in the story is that, along the way, you fall in love with dance--the one thing that everyone agrees is totally out of the question.
Is it good manners? Is it out of some sense of politeness that every column I've read about Michael Jackson makes a brief bow to the latter half of his life, then moves on to massage every detail of his splendid, brilliant early career? As in: whatever you want to say about the weird thing he became, you have to appreciate how he electrified the world with Thriller.* Is it good manners or is it that we don't want to face what his gruesome demise might say about us? About our culture, I could say, except we can't just dis the culture without taking some responsibility.
How do we understand what happened to him?
I have a dog. My dog poops. So do the other dogs. People get mad at dogs because their owners leave the poop under their shoes.
I love my dog and want him to be accepted by the community. So, I help him out if I pick up the other dogs' poops, the ones just waiting to slide under your shoe. But I can't bring myself to do it...well, once I did, because I wanted to be able to brag on this site. Is that a worthy reason?
What will it take for us to take responsibility for each other? Self interest? Wisdom? Empathy? Enough poop on our shoes? (12/17/08)
What tempts you to fall out of your mind? For me, it is belonging. If someone says you are one of us, I'm toast, especially if it's a group that disdains all other groups. I forget my values, my preferences, my feelings, my family ... and become a faulty mirror of the group, a groupee. But maybe triumph is more seductive for you. Maybe it's chocolate...or money...or fame...or boobs...or cherries...what are those things, anyway?
What can you learn about yourself from your temptations?
How can you encourage yourself to disobey their instructions?
What else will meet the craving?
What will satisfy the longing?
Can you stay curious long enough to sense the difference between craving and longing? And can you allow the longing to pull you into connection with the whole universe?